About a month before I left Brisbane, I had a mini freak out…. Everyone was asking me “Are you ready?” “What about your mum, she will miss you?” “Are you excited?” I think I reached the question threshold about 1.5 months before the trip. Every time I was asked, I would just shudder and say “I’m really stressed out, there is so much stuff for me to do before I go. Mum is not happy about me going and I won’t be excited till I’m on the plane. All of these things were reinforcing all of my negative thoughts………
The thing is, I had planned time for all my errands and to help my parents out with their tax and direct debit bills before I left. As for the excitement, that came when I got to Greece. :D So why was my mind still doing stress loops?...... I guess it was a constant reminder to my deadlines and that my whole life was about to change. I ended up making up some simple answers to give to the reoccurring and continued questions. So, I changed my thought structure believing that I would finish my errands and if I didn’t, there were family members who would help me out. Finally, some inner peace…
I’m a bit of a crier, I always thought it was shameful or embarrassing. Then it was pointed out to me that if the chance of me crying is almost 100%, then just let it happen. People won’t point and laugh, they will just know that you care. It’s hard to say goodbye to your family, friends and work colleagues. I ended up with 9 different farewell events, it was good-bye after good-bye… I took it pretty well for the most part, but I thought of it like “See you later” and not “Good-bye forever.” It didn’t make it any easier for my close friends and family either.
Learning how to control my anxiety and stress is a process. Also, having these emotions is not a sign of weakness, it’s actually a sign of strength. Being vulnerable around your friends and family, makes you human and it shows them that you love and care for them. Let it be one with you, don’t fight those internal feelings!
The thing is, I had planned time for all my errands and to help my parents out with their tax and direct debit bills before I left. As for the excitement, that came when I got to Greece. :D So why was my mind still doing stress loops?...... I guess it was a constant reminder to my deadlines and that my whole life was about to change. I ended up making up some simple answers to give to the reoccurring and continued questions. So, I changed my thought structure believing that I would finish my errands and if I didn’t, there were family members who would help me out. Finally, some inner peace…
I’m a bit of a crier, I always thought it was shameful or embarrassing. Then it was pointed out to me that if the chance of me crying is almost 100%, then just let it happen. People won’t point and laugh, they will just know that you care. It’s hard to say goodbye to your family, friends and work colleagues. I ended up with 9 different farewell events, it was good-bye after good-bye… I took it pretty well for the most part, but I thought of it like “See you later” and not “Good-bye forever.” It didn’t make it any easier for my close friends and family either.
Learning how to control my anxiety and stress is a process. Also, having these emotions is not a sign of weakness, it’s actually a sign of strength. Being vulnerable around your friends and family, makes you human and it shows them that you love and care for them. Let it be one with you, don’t fight those internal feelings!