Many of my friends have suggested that I would find the man of my dreams on this year long trip. I’m totally convinced now... Not! I’m now in the mountainous limestone area just outside of Antalya, Turkey. I’ve been calling it “Jubacki” but it’s actually “Geyikbayiri”, dyslexic much. Climbing here is tranquil and calming because of the running streams and never ending green forests. I’m totally feeling one with nature!
Ok, back to the man of my dreams. I was climbing with Eric a few days ago when this tall, skinny, pale, blue eyed, mousey brown buzz cut dude comes around the corner with half a pomegranate in his hands. He didn’t have the best teeth, he spoke broken english and I wouldn’t call him attractive. He wore dark blue knee socks (yes socks for your knees), the purpose I wasn’t sure. I had no instant attraction but I was attracted to the pomegranate in his hands, so I asked him: “Where did you get the pomegranate from?” He didn’t really give me a straight answer but he did give me some pomegranate… YUMMM. I then found out he was from Russia and his name was Victor. I told him I was from China/Australia. He asked me in detail what grade I climbed and it dawned on me that socially Victor was willing to approach awkward conversations even when we had just met. Soon after that, I was giving this climb to the right my second shot. I was just chilling out on the ledge when Victor comes powering up the climb next to me. Breathing heavy and with all of his fingers totally taped. He gets up to the same ledge about 5 metres away and starts talking to me in his Russian accent:
V: “You are very nice climber, technique good”
T: “Thanks”
V: “You like me, I can tell”
T: “No no no” 0.o
V: “I mean, I like you”
T: “Thanks….” *Fake smiling, get me off this ledge*
V: “Do you understand???”
T: “Yes, I’m climbing now” *Kill me now….*
I totally got creeped out after this…. He gave me a hi5 because I did the route but I didn’t want anything to do with him after he said those things to me…
A few days later, I went to do my project. I had worked on this climb for 2 days previously and was super keen to climb it. After a few warm ups, Victor arrived, loaded up with more pomegranates of course, and was super happy to see me. I didn’t give him much attention just said hello. I walked over to my climb and Victor was doing these crazy helicopter arm rotations, I thought his arms were going to fall off. After this he sprints up his climb, leaving his belayer running after to give him enough rope. Yes, he was still rocking those knee sock things. It was now my second shot on “Pumping on big mothers beast”, I was tied into my rope and my shoes were on. I was starting the deep breathing, when I hear Victor from above.
V: “Hey China Woman, I have something special for you!!!”
T: *I look up* (Victor is in a roof climb but is resting in near splits, all I could see is his crotch) *bleeding eyes* “Thanks nice” *Busted out laughing*
Ok, back to the man of my dreams. I was climbing with Eric a few days ago when this tall, skinny, pale, blue eyed, mousey brown buzz cut dude comes around the corner with half a pomegranate in his hands. He didn’t have the best teeth, he spoke broken english and I wouldn’t call him attractive. He wore dark blue knee socks (yes socks for your knees), the purpose I wasn’t sure. I had no instant attraction but I was attracted to the pomegranate in his hands, so I asked him: “Where did you get the pomegranate from?” He didn’t really give me a straight answer but he did give me some pomegranate… YUMMM. I then found out he was from Russia and his name was Victor. I told him I was from China/Australia. He asked me in detail what grade I climbed and it dawned on me that socially Victor was willing to approach awkward conversations even when we had just met. Soon after that, I was giving this climb to the right my second shot. I was just chilling out on the ledge when Victor comes powering up the climb next to me. Breathing heavy and with all of his fingers totally taped. He gets up to the same ledge about 5 metres away and starts talking to me in his Russian accent:
V: “You are very nice climber, technique good”
T: “Thanks”
V: “You like me, I can tell”
T: “No no no” 0.o
V: “I mean, I like you”
T: “Thanks….” *Fake smiling, get me off this ledge*
V: “Do you understand???”
T: “Yes, I’m climbing now” *Kill me now….*
I totally got creeped out after this…. He gave me a hi5 because I did the route but I didn’t want anything to do with him after he said those things to me…
A few days later, I went to do my project. I had worked on this climb for 2 days previously and was super keen to climb it. After a few warm ups, Victor arrived, loaded up with more pomegranates of course, and was super happy to see me. I didn’t give him much attention just said hello. I walked over to my climb and Victor was doing these crazy helicopter arm rotations, I thought his arms were going to fall off. After this he sprints up his climb, leaving his belayer running after to give him enough rope. Yes, he was still rocking those knee sock things. It was now my second shot on “Pumping on big mothers beast”, I was tied into my rope and my shoes were on. I was starting the deep breathing, when I hear Victor from above.
V: “Hey China Woman, I have something special for you!!!”
T: *I look up* (Victor is in a roof climb but is resting in near splits, all I could see is his crotch) *bleeding eyes* “Thanks nice” *Busted out laughing*
You can just see him up there in the splits with his knee socks!
There were 10 people around that witness this. It was really funny but embarrassing for me. I started climbing and my concentration was abysmal. I just couldn’t get the image of his trouser potato out of my head. I made it to the crux but then fell. Victor disappeared for a while, in this time Eric and I both sent the climb. :D Happy days!!! As I was packing up the rope, Victor comes up to me…
V: “What is your name?”
T: “I told you already and you forgot. THEN YOU CALL ME CHINA WOMAN!!!”
V: “Sorry, can you tell me?”
T: “My Ling” *eyes still bleeding*
V: (Hands me a wedge of pomegranate) “For you”
T: “Thank-you” (gives it to Eric) *getting creeped out*
V: (Comes back 5 minutes later and hands me half a pomegranate) “This is special for you only”
T: “Umm Thank-you” *Awkward smile and even more creeped out*
Not sure what will happen on the next encounter but let’s just say it will be interesting. I think I would like him to stay in my dreams and not be the man of my dreams. Crotch image forever ingrained in my head… Ayeee Yaaahhhh….
V: “What is your name?”
T: “I told you already and you forgot. THEN YOU CALL ME CHINA WOMAN!!!”
V: “Sorry, can you tell me?”
T: “My Ling” *eyes still bleeding*
V: (Hands me a wedge of pomegranate) “For you”
T: “Thank-you” (gives it to Eric) *getting creeped out*
V: (Comes back 5 minutes later and hands me half a pomegranate) “This is special for you only”
T: “Umm Thank-you” *Awkward smile and even more creeped out*
Not sure what will happen on the next encounter but let’s just say it will be interesting. I think I would like him to stay in my dreams and not be the man of my dreams. Crotch image forever ingrained in my head… Ayeee Yaaahhhh….
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