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The Man of My Dreams!....

22/10/2015

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Many of my friends have suggested that I would find the man of my dreams on this year long trip. I’m totally convinced now... Not!  I’m now in the mountainous limestone area just outside of Antalya, Turkey. I’ve been calling it “Jubacki” but it’s actually “Geyikbayiri”, dyslexic much. Climbing here is tranquil and calming because of the running streams and never ending green forests.  I’m totally feeling one with nature!

Ok, back to the man of my dreams. I was climbing with Eric a few days ago when this tall, skinny, pale, blue eyed, mousey brown buzz cut dude comes around the corner with half a pomegranate in his hands. He didn’t have the best teeth, he spoke broken english and I wouldn’t call him attractive.  He wore dark blue knee socks (yes socks for your knees), the purpose I wasn’t sure. I had no instant attraction but I was attracted to the pomegranate in his hands, so I asked him: “Where did you get the pomegranate from?” He didn’t really give me a straight answer but he did give me some pomegranate… YUMMM.  I then found out he was from Russia and his name was Victor.  I told him I was from China/Australia.  He asked me in detail what grade I climbed and it dawned on me that socially Victor was willing to approach awkward conversations even when we had just met.   Soon after that, I was giving this climb to the right my second shot. I was just chilling out on the ledge when Victor comes powering up the climb next to me. Breathing heavy and with all of his fingers totally taped.  He gets up to the same ledge about 5 metres away and starts talking to me in his Russian accent: 
V: “You are very nice climber, technique good”
T: “Thanks”
V: “You like me, I can tell”
T: “No no no” 0.o
V: “I mean, I like you”
T: “Thanks….” *Fake smiling, get me off this ledge*
V: “Do you understand???”
T: “Yes, I’m climbing now” *Kill me now….*
I totally got creeped out after this…. He gave me a hi5 because I did the route but I didn’t want anything to do with him after he said those things to me…

A few days later, I went to do my project. I had worked on this climb for 2 days previously and was super keen to climb it. After a few warm ups, Victor arrived, loaded up with more pomegranates of course, and was super happy to see me.  I didn’t give him much attention just said hello. I walked over to my climb and Victor was doing these crazy helicopter arm rotations, I thought his arms were going to fall off.  After this he sprints up his climb, leaving his belayer running after to give him enough rope. Yes, he was still rocking those knee sock things.  It was now my second shot on “Pumping on big mothers beast”, I was tied into my rope and my shoes were on. I was starting the deep breathing, when I hear Victor from above. 
V: “Hey China Woman, I have something special for you!!!”
T: *I look up* (Victor is in a roof climb but is resting in near splits, all I could see is his crotch) *bleeding eyes* “Thanks nice” *Busted out laughing*


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You can just see him up there in the splits with his knee socks!
There were 10 people around that witness this. It was really funny but embarrassing for me. I started climbing and my concentration was abysmal. I just couldn’t get the image of his trouser potato out of my head. I made it to the crux but then fell. Victor disappeared for a while, in this time Eric and I both sent the climb. :D Happy days!!! As I was packing up the rope, Victor comes up to me…
V: “What is your name?”
T: “I told you already and you forgot. THEN YOU CALL ME CHINA WOMAN!!!”
V: “Sorry, can you tell me?”
T: “My Ling” *eyes still bleeding*
V: (Hands me a wedge of pomegranate) “For you”
T: “Thank-you” (gives it to Eric) *getting creeped out*
V: (Comes back 5 minutes later and hands me half a pomegranate) “This is special for you only”
T: “Umm Thank-you” *Awkward smile and even more creeped out*
​
Not sure what will happen on the next encounter but let’s just say it will be interesting.  I think I would like him to stay in my dreams and not be the man of my dreams. Crotch image forever ingrained in my head… Ayeee Yaaahhhh….
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What has blown my mind thus far!

7/10/2015

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Stick Clip
My stick clip is the best, I love it so much!!! It is the super clip and I bought the stick from America.  It has already saved a guys ankle. It has no problem taking draws off, putting draws on and placing rope back into the first clip.  I thought I knew exactly how to use it.  Then Marin showed me how to stick clip the rope without it falling out of the clip. That was the biggest problem I had with the stick and it was solved, now I will never have the rope fail to land inside the quick draw. Mind blowing photos below!

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Rope falls out!
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Rope passed through the top, secures it. MIND BLOWN!
The Australian effect
Since I’ve spent the last few weeks with Darryn and Craig, I have found this infectious “Australian Effect” at the crag.  Yes, we are the loud, obnoxious, dirty minded, piss taking and goat noise making people at your nearby crag. Too many people are so serious, trying to send their projects, wanting to be impressive on the rock or protecting their butts from hitting the ground.  We are just out to have fun and climb a whole bunch of sick routes, man. Safety first, of course!
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Craig, me and Darryn, the AUSSIES!
Fart Tennis
I went over to Marin and Jai’s place the other night for dinner and some Catan board gaming. I was having one of those, gassy kind of days. Letting it rip every few minutes. Obviously, I have no shame in bodily gas excretion. Then Jai asked me to play “Fart Tennis”, I was totally eager to learn how to play it. Here are the rules: 2 farts = a serve (they need to be loud and clear, the other player must be awake) then you say “Serve”. The other player must reciprocate with a fart within 10 seconds, if they do then the serve player must fart back, it goes back and forth until someone can’t fart anymore. Normal point system applies e.g. Tracey 5 Eric 3  15/0

Eric and I have been playing fart tennis as I write this, it’s so hard to volley back. I am leading but he’s getting the hang of it and we just did a 5 shot play. Ewww smelly!
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My fart tennis buddy!
Most people don’t climb hard
Since I left Australia and my usual hard core climbing partners, it has come to my attention that most people don’t climb hard grades. There are many crags in Kalymnos that I have never been to because all the routes consist lower grades. Craig, told me that 99% of climbers climb under the grade 22/6c+/5.11c. Eric found that the average grade logged in America was 19/6b/5.10c.  Mind Blown! At every crag I notice the girls; minority are super strong, some lead 6s and many top rope. Nothing wrong with top roping, it’s just weird how it’s shunned in Australia. I never considered myself a strong climber, after hearing the stats I am proud of what I have achieved. The reason I want to climb harder is so I can challenge myself and do more of the classic routes around the world!
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Darryn on the Thetis, Arhi, Kalymnos. 6b+
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    Tracey Hua

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